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Sunday, 10 April 2016

A tri....what???

Today Magaly's prompt is to write a ...wait for it....
"Triquain Swirl" poem.
Yep, that's what my brain said too, *though it may have actually come out of my mouth*
This is a poem formed in a set pattern of syllables per line.
The pattern Mags set us is 13 lines as follows
3-6-9-12-9-6-3-6-9-12-9-6-3
By th time I got my head round that I didn't have time to art, so I am reusing this painting form 2 years ago.

Swirling Mind

Stolen sleep
leads to pityless pain.
Clawing , scraping, shattering cold bones.
If only the darkness of sleep would stifle it.
But sleep seems to be hiding it's face,
huddled under pillows.
Pityless.
Storm clouds form, billowing.
Intensifying dark energy,
Cracking air, splitting sky and bone to the marrow.
Exquisite release as thunders roles.
Driving rain and pain gone,
Sleep now comes.

I think I got all the syllables correct, but my pattern seems to have failed on line 9...
never mind lol I tired
:D Enjoy XXX 
Photobucket

10 comments:

  1. Gina, your burst of positive energy is oh so inspiring :D
    Exquisite write.


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  2. It is a tricky form to work with, but I think you did a great job. You took advantage of it to get the feeling of circling in and out in the narrative. And the words you used were pretty powerful, creating some strong imagery.

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  3. Whenever I write this form, I do a lot of counting on my fingers. My Piano Man saw me during the process and kept on trying to make me lose count, and roaring with the delight of its torture...

    I like the sounds of your poem. I see her turning, squeezing eyes and pillow, searching for the release that seems so far way... and when she gets to sleep, I exhale with her.

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  4. Such a familiar state! Well done, Gina!

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  5. This is such a great visceral line:
    Cracking air, splitting sky and bone to the marrow.

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  6. Gina!! WOW!!! Great job!! I think you did brilliant!

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  7. I so relate to stolen sleep and swirling mind. You have succeeded both the image well-captured with your words, and the form. Great work!

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  8. I love this!!! I read what the instructions were and I thought my head was going to explode. This is the first time I have ever wrote, or even tried to write poetry. My mom died on April 1st so the side-effects have left me very behind. Today is catch up, I hope, if only for today. Hugs, Rasz.

    BTW, your painting looks like my mom when she was much younger. I also love your site.

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  9. I love this!!! I read what the instructions were and I thought my head was going to explode. This is the first time I have ever wrote, or even tried to write poetry. My mom died on April 1st so the side-effects have left me very behind. Today is catch up, I hope, if only for today. Hugs, Rasz.

    BTW, your painting looks like my mom when she was much younger. I also love your site.

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  10. Great drawing and poem. Although it's a bit too real for me with the not sleeping :P

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