People I love

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Witches in fiction 2015 ~ Death Rites and Remembrance...

Due to other peoples illnesses(which they then shared with me) I have struggled to get my brain in gear for this event.
But that has never stopped me before lol.
So I thought I would share some of my own personal feelings with regard to such matters.
In this modern day I find myself very detached from Death rites/funerals.
They seem to be more and more about the living, and less and less about the dead.
It's ok if you want to have a party ...or a more sombre gathering...but they all just seem so pointless to me.
I find that I don't "forget" those that have passed on...once I know them I remember them always...every day, regardless of "special days" or anniversaries. Specific dates have become irrelevant to me.
for example, my older sister died when we were very young...on the 3rd of October. I don't focus on that as a date of remembrance. I have kept her guitar. Everyday I see it and remember her.
Another example is the poppy.
 Every year I remember the fallen, both family and not. I go through the motions of public remembrance on 11th November, but I keep the wreath on my wall all year round...and EVERY time I see a poppy I remember them.

Everytime I learn a new skill or make something OR write a poem/story,
I remember my Father or Grandmother, people who continually taught me to appreciate each new experience life brought my way.
I know the dates they all died (for family history reasons) but I do not feel these days are important to their memory.
I know some people may find my reasoning disrespectful or irreverent, but being a follower of the natural cycle of life and death the only rites I require, are that I can remember the stories they told me and smile.
I do not believe in "heaven" or "hell", so religious ritual means nothing to me. And the apparent importance of  "How many people turned up?" at a funeral sickens and saddens me. So to anyone who is thinking "guess she's worried no one will turn up for hers..." I have already set out my wishes with the undertaker. NO church service, biodegradable casket, NO after party...straight into the fire for me. To the best of my abilities I will leave this world with as little fuss as possible, leaving nothing but good wishes and a puff of smoke...
and a few works of art for you to remember me by.

*no I am not dying...I just have a snotty head cold*
Blessed Be...however you choose to remember :D



  1. I understand and relate to every word of this. I do strongly believe death rituals, funerals and so forth are for the living, and for those who find that their grief is lessened by such, I am happy for them, but agree they can often be very superficial. I don;t want one myself--and as you do, I hope if anyone cared about me, they will remember me as just another part of their daily life. I love your poppy granny squares--perfect!

  2. Thank you for sharing this. I too am disappointed in the funerals I see that seem more like a fashion competition or statement of status rather than an honoring of the departed and opportunity to share memories and love. I love the idea of the biodegradable box, puff of smoke and as little fuss as possible.

  3. We think alike when it comes to funerals and such. I want no fuss, either.Puffed and spread will do just fine for me. I do know, from a psychological perspective, that is is helpful to some people. But, I feel that the family that have passed before me are not gone, their energy has just shifted.

  4. The tree of life "leaves" memories forever! I subscribe to the very same plan , creative heart. Be well! xo

  5. I totally agree with you. I remember my ones who have passed at any time and for any reason, not specifically on the date. Seasons is really more of my rememberance. Hope your cold gets better, I hate being fuddle headed with one. Love your blog.....cheers, xoxo Oma Linda

  6. My feelings are a 'little' different I guess. I do like a gathering for a 'celebration of life'. It helps me to let go, not them. Having said that, I want nothing and have left instructions to that effect. Just a puff of smoke for me. People who loved me will remember when they choose. Thanks for posting .. an interesting subject these days. Times are changing. xoDonna

  7. I think celebrating a 'date' rather than a whole person is a way people made detach

  8. Haha, speaking of 'detach' my comment seemed to post itself before I had written it!!! Anyway, I think sometimes people need that order, almost an attempt to control those thoughts by keeping it on a calendar rather than it overflowing and saturating the everyday(?) I also think if one has made an impact, their lives, stories, shared moments, achievements etc, are stitched into others, so they live on in that way, thoughts, stories, mementos left, part of another's life fabric... Love your poppies too, one of my absolute favourite flowers! Hope you and the household are feeling better real soon Gina xox

  9. Not disrespectful, just honest. I hope for a bit of irreverence around my passing, otherwise I shall haunt the hell out of the living.

    I can understand weaving the memories of the beloved dead into ordinary living. It actually makes a lot of sense.

  10. I can relate to all your words, as I am not a believer myself. I remember my best friend every day but I don't even want to remember or remark on the day she died. And I hate funerals, at least how we do them over here in Sweden.

  11. I've always wanted for those who love me to dance when I die, to sing songs I like, to cook and eat food I enjoyed... Some have said that my feelings are selfish, and I tell them, "Yes, they are. It's my freaking funeral, people should dance if I want to." I think it's all about the former: people should be remembered in death the way they were in life--I've always liked a party, a funeral full of people mourning (or me in a box to buried in the company of who knows whose bones!) would insult my memory. And believe you me, if I can came back, I will just to make sure that my fiery life ended in more hot fire and my ashes spread around some daisies.

    Now, I will never be able to see puppies without thinking of you. Well, I always think of you anyway--your art and pressies are all over my house ;-D. But now I will think of you with poppies, too... and not just the ones on my bridal skirt.♥♥♥

    Love this post!

  12. I agree with you so much! I always say the same thing, funerals are for the living. I have recently been in one that they spent so much money on. Money they didn't have and really needed. They ended up really stressed and worried on top of their grief and pain.
    Beautiful post!
    Thank you for your comment!

  13. ...and your energy goes into the universe and onto whatever ... good for you...

  14. Turn me to Ash and pour liberal amounts of drink to music, I say. Celebrate the Life, don't mourn the passing of it. This was good, and we all thank you for offering it up to Magaly's blog party. Cheers!

  15. Totally with you on the no fuss exit from this world! I don't know what it's like over there these days, but in Australia, daytime television is just chock-full of ads for funeral insurance. Funerals have become an industry in much the same way weddings have, in my opinion. For me, a funeral has no bearing on the way I felt about someone, just as a wedding day does not make a marriage.

  16. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love how you state about the dates not being the importance of the remembrance. Sounds, smells, objects,dreams , and sometimes visit's keep our loved one's in our realm . I think more emphasis should be put into everyday life instead of the final shabang..l.o.l.

  17. Gina, I agree with everything you just said! Great post!! I hope you are feeling better ;o)